the medicine muse

ash was born raised in the easy Bay Area of California by her parents who separated when she was 2 years old. birthed into a lineage of masks inherited to protect self, the escaping and numbing was predisposed from within the womb. depression, addiction, co-dependency, avoidant attachment, perfectionism, abandonment, people pleasing and harsh judgment were normalized. ash grew up quickly tagging along to her families businesses, being praised for being 'so mature,' living with a mother who struggled with alcoholism and an emotionally unavailable father. these core memories left ash searching for comfort in the external, things like work, food, men, alcohol and drugs.

 

In June 2022, she'd ended yet another unhealthy relationship, completed her first personal development container which introduced her to microdosing psilocybin mushrooms and unexpectedly lost her mother to cirrhosis of the liver at age 55. from then, her life of masking would come to an abrupt halt. the successful real estate career she'd built for 10 years no longer felt manageable. ash dove full-time into multiple holistic coaching and mentorship containers, furthered her relationship with intentional psychedelic medicine and educated herself on how to transmute this life changing heartbreak. the added loss of her great aunt due to addiction and maternal grandmother during this time amplified the felt sensations within her body.  the substances used to numb her heart had no chance up against this grief.  she'd come into awareness of addictions prevalent in her own reality, grasping onto them to keep a false connection with her mother, to not feel the pain.

 

today you meet ash in her fullest expression of love. the ash who has sat in the uncomfortable, who has crumbled down to the depths most dare not begin to uncover. it's clear her life's purpose is to inspire you with love, to show you that you too, can change the trajectory of your life by practicing radical honesty and humble devotion. 

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it would have been easier. it would have been ‘easier’ to remain on the path of emotional disassociation, to follow in the footsteps of those before her, masking her being in addictions, numbing her body with disordered eating. it would have been ‘easier’ to ignore her body, to stay complacent, to abide by the standards set within her culture. longing to be seen, heard and loved by those suffering from the same patterns.

 

when the pain was too much to bare, when the patterns left her unfulfilled, when blaming herself then everyone around her then herself again resulted in nothing, she presented herself with an opportunity. an opportunity to choose. choose herself and lose everything or choose everything and lose herself.

 

while losing the comfort of everything she’d ever known filled her body with fear, she would do it an infinite amount of times over again to free herself from the confines of others, to free herself from the confines of herself.

 

her courage, bravery, commitment (& psychedelics) made this possible. ash is the epitome of a being who has turned her pain into not only her humble purpose but her passion. using adversity as wisdom, she’s shifted the trajectory of her life with the same spiritual practices she shares with you today.

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ash embodies the teachings of her spiritual awakening to intuitively inspire the collective. courageously facing the uncomfortable truths of her reality, she believes in the power of being fearlessly authentic. transmuting grief into love, the space she creates for the safety of your heart to quest is the nurturance we crave so deeply.

 

200hr Indigo YTT certified psychedelic practitioner by The Psychedelic Coaching Institute, IFS informed psychedelic practitioner by The Moxie School, certified massage therapist and health educator by National Holistic Institute and founder of HOLISTIKA.